No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
