I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize