My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
