This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
