Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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