He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
