Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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