At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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