just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
