I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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