I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
