dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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