The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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