so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
