Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Life is so much better after having sex.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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