a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
