grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
