He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
His hands were made for my vagina.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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