Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
