That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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