i permit you to call me
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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