I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
