mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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