Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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