She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
