At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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