yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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