I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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