Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
