Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
