I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
