I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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