i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
