If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize