Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
