I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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