just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I have fence marks all over my body
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
