***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just had sex bonerless
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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