their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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