Sry I called you an 8
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize