Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
