she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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