I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
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I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
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I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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