NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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