I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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