Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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