it was like his penis was on wheels.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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