Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
