Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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