4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
