I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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