good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
