im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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