i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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