Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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