You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
