Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
