debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Enjoy the penises
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize