She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
