You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
