So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
