someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
