I could make wine with my vomit
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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