We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
