I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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