I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
