I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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