worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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